Will you bounce back from these challenging times? Do you feel stretched to your limit?
We can grow when we face challenges or we can crumble. Growing in our mental resilience or ‘bounce back-ability’ is key.
Bounce Back
In their book Resilience: Why Things Bounce Back , Andrew Zolli and Ann Marie Healy examine the ability of human beings to bounce back from disaster or trauma. Some of the important correlations that they found were personality traits like optimism and confidence.
They found that such personality traits are rooted in belief systems that allow one to, as they put it – turn life’s proverbial lemons into lemonade.
Mindset
This system of thought is based on three fundamental ideas. The belief that:
- one can find a meaningful purpose in life,
- one can influence one’s surroundings and the outcome of events, and
- positive and negative experiences will lead to learning and growth.
Taking these ideas to actual effective actions is the next step.
Reframe
Dr. Kevin Majeres, a Cognitive Behavioural Psychiatrist at Harvard medical school has done some excellent work on reframing. He identifies the practice of reframing as deliberately training yourself to see trials as opportunities instead of as threats. Taking this approach can really improve your ability to bounce back.
Reframing changes how your brain works during times of stress in three ways.
- you lose the tunnel vision formed by the threat,
- maintain your ability to make moral decisions, and
- keep a clear vision of your ideals at the forefront of your thoughts.
In the case of the current crisis, it is easy to become overwhelmed and be thinking about COVID-19 at all times. This can have a paralyzing effect on your behaviour. If we reframe the way we think about the crisis we improve our ability to bounce back from it.
Secondly, it is important to make moral decisions that keep you and your family safe both emotionally and physically. During this time, choose compassion for others as your response. Reach out to those who are isolated. Provide support for those who are stressed.
And finally, remember who you are and want to be. Think about this time as an opportunity to grow in creativity, patience and compassion. Come out of this time mentally and emotionally stronger and more resilient. At the end of the day, you will be more satisfied if you stayed true to yourself.
Dear Gentleperson:Jean Simmons, who is such a blessing to our faimly, gave me your website info. I was born and raised in Wildwood, FL and returned in 2006 after spending 40 years in NYC and Chicago to help with my mother after I was able to take an early retirement at age 62. It was not until a year ago or so that I realized that something unusual was going on with my mother. At the end of last year, she was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. Still, we are greatly blessed. She has her bad days when she wonders what has happened to her husband, or her sister or her mother, but then there are other days when she brings me so much joy. I am her son and she is my mother. From the beginning, we have had a duty to each other. She has done for me everything that a mother is required to do for her son. I am proud that the Creator has placed in my heart the will to fullfill my duty to her. I am grateful that you have the courage and the character to speak the truth regarding the issues that you face. You are a blessing to your mother and you are a blessing to us.Peace and Love.Sam